Break on Me
by Michelle285
Summary: Can the Queen of Genovia ever really lost control? If so, who can she do it with?


_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. The song this is based off of_ (Break on Me) _belongs to Keith Urban._

 _A/N: I'm not sure why, but as soon as I heard this song, I thought of a story. As I ran through the characters I usually write for, Clarisse and Joe stood out to me as a good couple for this song. Hopefully I can do the song and the couple justice. This is kind of a relationship study, in which it starts when Rupert is still alive and ends…well, you'll see. I'm actually rather nervous about posting this, so if you could review at the end, I would appreciate it! Enjoy!_

Clarisse sighed as her husband walked out. She knew him once. At one time, the man she knew would never do this. At least, not when they were married. Sure, before they were betrothed he flirted with other girls and it didn't bother her, they were just friends and she had no claim on her. When they did become engaged, all of his attention was focused on her and she was sure his flirting days were over. Even for the first years of their marriage he was attuned only to her. After her duty of producing the heirs was over though, he strayed. Granted she didn't love Rupert like she should—she only felt affection for him as a very dear friend and knew he felt the same—but still the fact that she couldn't hold his attention, that he had to look for satisfaction with someone else hurt.

Feeling a lump in her throat, Clarisse squeezed her eyes shut. She was _not_ going to cry! Rupert's escapades had been going on for quite some time now and she was also used to them. There was no need for her to get all weepy tonight. This was no different than any other day.

A knock on Clarisse's door jolted her out of her thoughts. "Come in."

Joseph stepped into the room. "Good evening, Your Majesty."

"Hello, Joseph," Clarisse greeted her bodyguard. Oh, who was she kidding? Joseph was so much more than her bodyguard. He was her confidant, her jester (he always made her laugh when she was down), her best friend.

Joseph didn't know what to say. He didn't even know why he had come. Well, scratch that, he came because Rupert was in a "meeting" and he knew Clarisse was aware of exactly what the alleged meeting was about. He always visited Clarisse during these times because Joseph felt that if Rupert was smart, he would realize just what an amazing woman he had. If Rupert was dumb enough to take that for granted, Joseph would take advantage. Not of Clarisse, but rather for his own selfish reasons.

Sighing, Clarisse gestured to the sofa cushion next to hers. She knew why Joseph was here, but didn't feel the need to discuss it. "Sit down. Would you like a cup of tea?"

Lowering himself to the cushion she indicated, Joseph shook his head. "No, thank you."

"Oh, I forgot," Clarisse said smiling. "Your beverage of choice is coffee."

The way Clarisse said "coffee" made Joseph laugh. "It really is quite good once a person gets used to it."

Clarisse wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Why would anyone want to get used to it?"

Joseph chuckled. "Well, for one thing, it's a lot more manly than tea."

Not being able to stop the smile from spreading across her face, Clarisse also rolled her eyes, to let Joseph know she was not appreciative of him degrading her beloved tea.

The atmosphere in the room suddenly changed as Clarisse became very serious. She studied her tea as though it held the answer to all her countries problems, yet she spoke to Joseph. "What is wrong with me?"

Joseph's knee-jerk response of "You're perfect" was not at all appropriate, so he stifled that and instead asked, "Your Majesty?"

Still fascinated with her tea, Clarisse elaborated. "There must be something wrong if Rupert can't…" She trailed off, not knowing how to finish, but aware Joseph would understand what she couldn't voice.

Joseph bit his lip. Again, he had to force himself to think about his answer. Saying his first thought was likely to get him killed for treason. "I am sure the…problem…is not with you, Your Majesty."

One corner of Clarisse's mouth twitched. "Very diplomatic, Joseph."

"Why don't you talk to him?" Joseph suggested.

"When?" Clarisse asked. "We're surrounded by people, all the time. I have to be in control, all the time!"

Gently, Joseph touched Clarisse's arm. He knew he wasn't supposed to touch her, but he was her bodyguard, and surely he could make a case for this if it came to that. "Not here. Not with me."

Feeling tears flood her eyes, Clarisse quickly blinked a few time, trying to shove them back. Unfortunately, blinking had the opposite effect and a few slid down her cheek. She angrily swiped them away.

Joseph captured her hand in both of his, forcing her to look at him. "Clarisse," he whispered.

Clarisse shut her eyes, to block out the compassion in his. She took an unsteady breath and before she knew what was happening, she was in Joseph's arms and tears were falling unchecked down her cheeks. She knew this was horrid behavior for the Queen of Genovia, but she didn't care.

Feeling Clarisse's tears hit his shirt, Joseph had to work hard to keep his control. Each tiny breath Clarisse took tore at his heart. For the third time tonight, Joseph had to bite his lips to keep a treasonous thought from slipping out. _Rupert is an idiot_.

-%

Clarisse's eyes flew open on a gasp. She quickly looked around and slowly became aware of her surroundings. She was not in Genovia, she was in San Francisco. It was not the Independence Day Ball, that was still a week away. The Von Trokens did not take the crown, Mia did.

Sighing, Clarisse knew that she could control none of those things, except perhaps being in San Francisco. The only thing she really wanted to control—what happened to her crown—was something she had no say in at all. It was up to Mia and as the days passed, Clarisse's dream of handing over her country to her granddaughter seemed to be slipping further and further away.

Stealing a glance at the clock and noting it was 2:00 am, Clarisse wondered who was standing guard at this time of the morning. Ideally she would know, but Joseph was so accomplished as her bodyguard and Head of Security, these details were usually left to him. She contemplated the idea of opening her door to check, but the guard would probably notice. Then again, if they were standing at the end of the hall, as they should be, they might not. However, if Joseph hired them, they would be incredibly observant and even if they acted like they didn't see her, it would be mentioned to Joseph in the morning.

Wasn't that the reason she wanted to check though? Didn't she want to talk to Joseph about her dream, didn't she want him to tell her everything would be alright? The dream must've really affected her, because the more she thought about it, the more she was convincing herself to just take a small peek into the hallway.

Tying her dressing gown tightly around her, she walked into the living area of her suite and tiptoed over to the door. She shook her head slightly at herself, it wasn't as if anyone could hear her stocking feet on the plush carpet.

Slowly twisting the brass doorknob, she put her head against the doorjamb and pushed the door out enough for one of her eyes to see through the crack.

"Your Majesty?"

Clarisse jumped and the doorknob slipped out of her hand. "Joseph!"

"Sorry, ma'am, I didn't mean to frighten you," Joseph apologized.

"What are you doing here?" Clarisse asked. "You are supposed to be at the end of the hall!"

"Did you need something?" Joseph questioned, changing the subject. He thought it best not to tell her that while he would fire any of his employees for moving closer to her room than the end of the hall, when he was guarding he didn't feel comfortable unless he was right outside her door, ensuring her safety.

Opening her door wider, silently inviting him in, Clarisse whispered, "Do you think Mia will take the crown?"

Closing the door behind him, Joseph leaned against it. "I think she wants to."

Clarisse walked over to the sofa, sat down and tucked her feet under her. It was the middle of the night and quite frankly, she didn't feel like acting the part of a queen. "That doesn't answer the question. Do you think she _will_?"

Joining Clarisse in the sitting area—sitting on the sofa as well, but an appropriate distance away—Joseph answered, "I don't know."

Clarisse clenched her hands into fists, to keep them in her lap, when all she wanted to do was to bring them up to her temples and rub away her tension. "The crown can't go to the Von Trokens, it just can't!

"When Rupert died," Clarisse continued, "I knew Philippe would be a great king. The people loved him and he loved the people. They trusted him and they were ready to welcome him. And then… I thought all hope was lost. It was you who reminded me of Mia. You who convinced me to write to Helen, convinced me to come here. I see so much of Philippe in Mia. I just know she will be a great queen, if only she would believe in herself. Ever since you reminded me of her, I had a dream of passing the crown on to her. But…" Clarisse stopped, knowing that if she continued, her voice would crack.

"I have told you before and I'll tell you again," Joseph softly said. "You don't always have to be in control when it comes to me."

Clarisse shook her head. "The Queen of Genovia is always in control."

Joseph took her hand in his. "But Clarisse is allowed to break every now and then." Pulling on her hand, Clarisse followed his prompting and went into his comforting embrace.

"I so want Mia to take the crown," Clarisse whispered after a few minutes, only moving her head so her words could be heard and wouldn't be muffled in his chest.

Tightening his arms around her he whispered back, "I know."

-%

"I shouldn't have said it," Clarisse said, sitting on her bed, leaning against the headboard.

"No, you shouldn't have," Joseph agreed, sitting on the opposite end of the bed, leaning against the footboard.

Clarisse wrinkled her forehead. "You're no help. You're supposed to tell me I'm right."

Joseph laughed and moved to sit beside her. He placed a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose. "Sorry, my dear, but you weren't."

Knowing the kiss was meant to be a deterrent, Clarisse almost took the bait, but decided against it. "She came back to the party soaking wet! And Nicholas came back in the same fashion seconds later!"

"It could've been handled better, I'll admit," Joseph conceded. "But she's still young and barely out of her teenage years. She'll get better."

"She doesn't have time to get better, Joseph!" Clarisse lamented. "In less than twenty days she has to be married and ready to be queen. Parliament doesn't think she's ready. I…" Clarisse stopped short of expressing the same sentiment.

"Mia doesn't need Parliament to believe in her," Joseph told Clarisse. "She can show them she'll be a great queen. She does, however, need her grandmother to believe in her."

"Oh, Joseph, I do," Clarisse sighed. She really did, no matter how many times she may want to say or think otherwise. She slid down into a reclining position.

Joseph copied her (as Clarisse hoped he would) and she quickly scooted toward him and laid her head on his chest. As he stroked his fingers up and down her exposed arm he said, "I know. She doesn't though."

Again, Clarisse sighed. "I can't take the words back, no matter how much I may want to."

"No," Joseph agreed, "You can't. However, you can apologize and show her that even though she made a mistake, even though she lost it, you still know she'll be great."

"Everything just happened so fast," Clarisse said. "She came to Genovia and I thought we'd have plenty of time. Then Arthur Mabrey had to bring up Nicholas and not only remind everyone there was another heir but bring up the marriage law! Lord Palimore had to pick that time to wake up and agree that the law should be enforced. Some Parliament members suggested a year and I thought maybe we could work with a year, but again Lord Palimore had to say thirty days! Mia almost didn't agree to the arranged marriage, but she knew that was the only way to she could make her mark as a ruler so she did, but there's still so much for her to learn and so little time for her to learn it!"

Joseph could tell Clarisse was close to "losing it" and though this was not a happy situation, he couldn't help but smile. As close as five years ago, he had to remind her it was okay for her to break when he was around. Now, she didn't have to be coaxed or reminded, she just did.

"It will all work out," Joseph soothed her. "You will still be able to help her when she is queen. She is a quick learner."

"I just don't want her life to turn out like mine did," Clarisse said.

"I beg your pardon!" Joseph exclaimed.

"No, Joseph, you know I didn't meant this," Clarisse said, putting her hand on his chest. "I don't want her to be trapped in a loveless marriage and be tied to Genovia, great a country as it is."

"Mia? Tied to anything?" Joseph joked.

Knowing it was his intention, Clarisse chucked. "Oh, Joseph, what would I do without you?"

Joseph hugged her more tightly to his side. "It's my hope that you never have to find out."

-%

Over the next few years, Clarisse and Joseph were never far apart. Mia became queen and was able to abolish the marriage law, so Clarisse's worries about her being trapped in a loveless marriage were unfounded.

Clarisse, also comfortably married to Joseph and not tied to the restraints of queen, was able to lose control a bit more often. Still though, she only did in front of Joseph and when they were alone. Joseph was always right there, always ready to comfort her when she broke.

-%

Sitting in her suite, Clarisse didn't know what to do. It had happened on this day four years ago. A day that literally rocked her world. She had been with him for so long, accepting that he was gone—even after four years—didn't come easy.

Hearing a knock on her door, Clarisse quickly took a deep breath and swiped at the tears that were sliding unnoticed down her cheeks. "Come in."

Mia peeked her head around the door. "Grandma?"

"Yes, darling?"

Mia bit her lip, unsure of how to voice her next question. She had become much more diplomatic over the years, but when it came to Clarisse, she was never sure if she was being diplomatic enough. Clarisse was her model, but she knew she could never live up to her legacy. "Are you…well, are you okay?"

Clarisse tried not to snipe at Mia. She knew Mia was only trying to help. She also knew that Mia was worried about her and wasn't trying to be insensitive. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not," Mia contradicted. Walking into the room and sitting down next to her grandmother, she pointed to Clarisse's cheeks. Mia didn't want to say she saw the tear tracks, but she was sure Clarisse would know what she meant.

Clarisse shrugged, not sure what to say. Mia may be her granddaughter, but there was no need for her to know how Clarisse felt. The only person Clarisse ever lost control with was Joseph and though that had now changed, no one else filled the role.

"Did you know Shades…er Scott, that is…quit?" Mia asked her grandmother.

"He did?" Clarisse asked, shocked. She hadn't heard.

"Well, he tried to," Mia amended. "He tries to every year on this day, but I won't let him. He feels guilty, but it wasn't his fault."

"He wasn't even there," Clarisse said.

"I know, but he says that if he hadn't hired Jason then none of this would've happened," Mia explained. "He said that hiring Jason, but especially letting him be my security for the day was a big mistake. Shades also said that if he had been there then Joseph wouldn't have had to…well, Shades just blames himself."

Clarisse shook her head. "He shouldn't." Amazingly, now that she thought about it, she didn't want Shades to feel guilty. In fact, that thought never even crossed her mind. She was angry at the man who held the gun…she stopped that thought quickly!

"Charlotte's trying to take care of it," Mia told Clarisse. "Of course, she's been trying to take care of it for four years now, so I'm not sure it's going to happen. It only gets really bad today though."

"Amelia," Clarisse interrupted. She couldn't take it anymore. "Don't you have a country to run or something?"

Mia tried not to smile. She knew Clarisse was trying to get rid of her, but she knew it was only because she hated for anyone to see her "lose it." "Grandma, you don't always have to be in control you know. Not here. Not with me."

Clarisse squeezed her eyes shut. Her granddaughter had unknowingly imitated what Joseph had said to her all those years ago, what Joseph had said to her many times when she struggled with her duty verses herself.

Repeating what she had told Joseph many times before, Clarisse said, "The Queen of Genovia is always in control."

"Grandma, you're not the queen anymore," Mia pointed out. "I am. You can lose control here. You can break on me."

And so…Clarisse did.

 _I know, I know, I'm horrible. Let me explain. I wanted to be able to end the fic with the words_ Break on Me _since that is the title of the song and that's what I always do. That being said, I didn't see Joseph saying that, but I could see Mia saying something along those lines. So I thought, why would Mia say something like that when Clarisse has Joseph. The only thing that came to mind would be if Clarisse didn't have Joseph, so I had to kill him. And I didn't explicitly say, but I gave the impression he died protecting Mia and really, if Joseph has to die, protecting one of his two girls is the way for him to go! I know, I didn't even end with those words. The more I looked at it, the more I felt it wasn't finished, so I had to add the last four. I just felt that it was more complete with those, but I kind of liked the direction it took with Joseph dead and all (even though I normally wouldn't), so I left it like that. So sorry if you're upset. Anyway, after this long rambling explanation, you should review! Even if you are sad that Joseph is dead, you could tell me that in a review? Anyway, I would appreciate it if you would review and thanks for reading!_


End file.
